Maybe
by Moment-4-Life
Summary: With so much on her plate already, Rachel is stressed enough without anything else being added to the equation. Set after Michael.


**Back with another fic. Oh the perks of being ill. Anyway hope you enjoy it. **

**Spoilers for the episode Michael!**

**Pairings- Puck/Rachel hints of Finn/Rachel Puck/Quinn**

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><p>The letter is barely readable from the rapid shaking of your hand, caused from the conflict of emotion brewing deep inside your tiny frame. You are a finalist at NYADA. You beat all the bullies and people who went out of their way just to insult you and actually won. You are <em>also<em> engaged to Finn Hudson; the sweet, kind and thoughtful boy who will do anything for you and has been there through everthing.

Quinn's words play a mantra of '_break up with him.'_ inside your head, refusing to leave, and you sort of wish you had taken her advice. Taken the advice of a girl who has been through so _so_ much in her short life and, as of recently, has become the person you can rely on; after Kurt, Finn and Sam of course. Maybe not have broken up with him but you could of postponed the proposal to a later date. Who knows what might happen in the next ten years and with the statistics of high school sweethearts living happily ever after being slim, _very _slim, is that a risk you are willing to take? To end up divorced at the tender age of 25 before your career has even taken off? Certainly not.

If you are really soulmates then you don't have to get married to state that fact do you?

Your head then begins to hurt from all the pressure and stress; Quinn's advice, Finn's proposal, Blaine's accident and the NYADA application all mixing and clashing together in a whirlwind. It's times like this you could really use a hug.

A soft strum of the guitar from behind you snaps you out of your self pity and you whirl round, a full blown grin etched upon your face as Puck starts singing your favourite song with a happy grin on his face.

_Yeah I'm out that Brooklyn. __  
><em>_Now I'm down in Tribeca.__  
><em>_Right next to DeNiro But I'll be hood forever __  
><em>_I'm the new Sinatra __  
><em>_And since I made it here I can make it anywhere (Yeah they love me everywhere)__  
><em>_I used to cop in Harlem All of my Dominicanos (Hey yo)__  
><em>_Right there off of Broadway Brought me back to that McDonalds__  
><em>_Took it to my stash spot __  
><em>_560 State Street Catch me in the kitchen__  
><em>_like Simmons whipping Pastry Cruising down 8th street Off-white Lexus Driving so slow (but BK, it's from Texas!)__  
><em>_Me I'm out that BedStuy Home of that boy__  
><em>_Biggie now I live on Billboard and I brought my boys with me Say what up to Ta-ta __  
><em>_Still sipping Mai Tais Sitting courtside__  
><em>_Knicks and Nets give me high-5, I be Spiked out I could trip a referee ...tell by my attitude that I'm MOST DEFINITELY FROM..._

_New York!_

He smiles a genuine 'Noah'- That's what you nicknamed his rare and special grin that's mainly reserved for you- smile as you join in, his cheeks tinted red from the lack of breath and the corners of his eyes crinkling up adorably as his hazel orbs twinkle from the light.

_Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, There's nothing you can't do, Now you're in New York! These streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you, Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York..._

Puck signals you to carry on with a thumbs up, and turns his attention to strumming the right chords, still panting heavily from his solo part.

_One hand in the air for the big city Street lights, big dreams, all lookin' pretty No place in the world that could compare Put your lighters in the air Everybody say "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_

You pull the tanned boy towards you, swinging a slim arm around his shoulders as you do so, and sway the two of you side to side.

_New York! Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, There's nothing you can't do, Now you're in New York! These streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you, Let's hear it for New York, New York, New York_

The two of you burst out laughing and he pulls you into a hug after setting down his guitar carefully against the piano, as if reading your previous thoughts. He gently picks you up off the ground once you get comfortable, electing a squeal of surpise from you as he spins you around playfully and unexpectedly, laughing at the agitated and slightly scared look on your face.

"Put me down Puckerman." you demand.

He obeys and you end up flat on your butt because you didn't expect him to actually do it."Ow." you mutter rubbing at the sore spot on your lower backside, glaring at Puck-who is trying and failing miserably at hiding a snicker- as you do so.

"Sorry." He says sheepishly holding out a hand to help you up.

"Oh no you don't." You swat his hand away, almost losing yours in the process at the size difference. His hands are _huge_. You instead pull yourself up and push at his shoulders- noting that he doesn't even move an inch even though you secretly put all your strength behind it- then continue to poke at his chest after every word you say,"Look. At. What. You. Did. You. Could. Of. Caused. Me. To. Have. A. Huge. Accident."

"Sorry!" He puts his hands up in mock surrender, rubbing at his chest like it hurt. You wish.

"What was all that for Noah." You say politely as you switch from being annoyed to happy in the space of a milli-second. How you ever even doubted that you'd get a place in college you'll never know.

"Guess who got into Yale?" He gives you a smug grin and wiggles his eyebrows as if you need any hints.

"Uh Jacob?" you decide to humour him and let out a small giggle at the disgusted and mortified expression Puck's face contorts into.

"Me!" He flicks you in the forehead and then ducks at your lame attempt to slap him.

"Really?" You can't help but smile at his excited expression, like a puppy waggling it's tail at the mention of 'walkies'.

"Hell Yeah!" He hurls you towards him in another bone crushing hug and his chin comes to rest on the top of yours. You can feel more then hear the huge relieved sigh he releases. Although he would never admit it, he's been on the edge all week waiting for a response and you've even caught him praying to God on more then one occasion for an acceptance although, you can't really complain; you've been wearing everything you could find that was lucky around school all month. Anyway back to the subject in hand, they are gaining a very talented young musician and you could not be more proud of your best friend even if you tried.

"I'm so happy for you Noah." His grip tightens around your small frame and you hear him release a shaky breath. Was he_ crying_? You quickly slap yourself for even thinking that. This is _Noah_ you are talking about.

"I heard you became a finalist of NYADA?"

"Yes." You smile like a cheshire cat as you picture all the horrible people who tried to bring you down, most with a 'Lima Loser' tattooed on their forehead. Your Noah wasn't one anymore and you feel so happy that you forced him to study- going so far as to ban him from his xbox if he refused- because it all paid off in the end.

"I'll come visit you every week." he promises.

"It is going to be quite expensive to do that every week."

"I don't care. I'll even walk if I have to."

You feel touched by his words, your heart strings pulling a little at the kind gesture."That's very sweet Noah but-"

"I will. I can't live without you."

Your eyebrows fuse together in confusion and you pull back a little to get a good look into his eyes, which are currently glistening with tears that were fused together with the sincerety and vulnerablility that the in his voice held. He locks his hands together behind your back, preventing you from moving away and escaping."Noah I-"

"I mean it." His words were firm."I can't live without you Rachel Berry." he adds softly looking directly into your eyes so you can see all the love and adoration in his beautiful hazel orbs. All of a sudden you find it hard to breath. It is all becoming to hard to handle for your minature self and you need to get out of here. Fast. "Don't say you haven't ever thought of us being together as a proper couple. Not just to use eachother to deal with the pain of unrequited love."

And you can't say it, he's right, because you've indeed thought about it many times. Holding hands. Exchanging gifts. Kisses. Hugs. Dates. Petty couple arguements. Make up's. Make out's. You've imagined it all but that was a long time ago. Now you are in a committed relationship and happy. You're engaged for Barbra's sake! You don't even have the time to admire his use of 'unrequited' and that he even knew what it meant as you are too busy struggling to get out of his grasp."Noah I can't."

"Please give me one chance Rach. _Please_!" He's despreate now, you can tell from the slight crackle in his voice, but it only makes you hesitate for a split second before you are back to struggling against his strong grip.

"Puck let me go!" his grip loosens at the shock of you using his nickname- You _never_ use it- and you use this moment to push him off and stumble away."I'm getting married!"

The words tumble out your mouth before you even have the chance to reign them in and you wince as his state of shock quickly turns to anger then hurt.

"W-what?" He stutters- something he never does- and blinks. and again. and again as if trying to wake himself up from a bad dream.

A lone tear escapes from the corner of your eye as you whisper,"I'm getting married." The words seem to hang in the air, sinking into both yours and Puck's skin until the realization dawns on the both of you. _You're getting married. _

"What- h-how- Wh-why.. I don't believe you." he retorts feebly, his posture slumping along with his heart. Unlucky for his heart though, his body was supported by his skeleton, leaving it to smash into a hundred pieces onto the floor. Noah Puckerman has once again been heartbroken and you can't help but think '_why?'. _You quickly shake your head of the thought. Three years of pining and having but not fully having Finn Hudson and now you've finally got him in your grasp; you've even got the ring on your finger to prove it. Was that really something to throw away just like that?

"Finn asked me to marry him and I said yes."

"Why?" He growls, grabbing a chair and throwing it across the choir room and watching it smash up again the wall before hanging his head, preparing himself for the 'I love him' that is surely going to come out of your mouth. It does, except it's rephrased differently.

"He's the love of my life." A image of Finn pops up into your head along with all the memories that you two have shared. The proposal. The bowling date. First Sectionals. The wedding. He makes you so happy.

"I can be the love of your life!" Is his immediate response. A couple of stray tears make their way down his reddened cheeks, leaving a trail of glistening wetness behind. He was so handsome but he just isn't the one for you, not in this life anyway. If this was a movie, you are pretty sure 'The one that got away' by Katy Perry would start playing right now but this isn't a movie, this is real life and right now your not sure if it's just one heart that's breaking right now.

"Noah." You grab his rougher and larger hands with yours and search for his hazel orbs that were looking everywhere else but at you."I love you." and you mean it. You never thought that you could love more then one person like in those silly Twilight movies but you realize now that Noah Puckerman also has a piece of your heart, maybe not as much as Finn but he still owns some of it. He looks up at you with a glimmer of hope but also with the acceptance that he is second best once again."But it's just too late."

You go to move away but his hand on your wrist stops you."Wait." and with that he presses his lips against yours, intent of memorizing every movement, feel and taste of your mouth, and you let him because you both need this. Some sort of closure to something that didn't even have a chance to begin. Another tear escapes from your eye and entwines with Noah's as your cheeks touch, falling to the floor and towards the pieces of both of your hearts.

You reluctantly pull away due to the lack of air and gently peck him on the forehead before moving out of his personal space. His arms stay in the air for a moment longer before collapsing back to his sides, dejected and heartbroken.

As you are about to leave, something suddenly hits you. You spin back round and face him, feeling guilty as hope rushes into his features. If you are going to leave him now, you are going to leave him with a way to fix his shattered heart. If you have Finn then he can have... "Quinn's also going to Yale."

"Yeah?" he replies, a strained half smile etching his features as he gazes back at you.

"Maybe you could..." You let the sentence hang but he understands what your hinting at and nods hesitently.

"Maybe."

"Maybe."

You both stand there silently, soaking up these last few minutes before you go back to pretending this never occured.

"She loves you."

"I love you."

"I love Finn."

He lets out a heartfelt sigh and rubs furiously at his eyes to prevent anymore tears from coming free.

"She was your first love. That's something that never goes away."

"This is different."

He looks down at you like a lost child searching for their parents and you can't stop yourself from leaning in and kissing him again. Scrap that, you didn't even attempt to stop yourself. "In another life maybe." and with those last words, you walk away and hope his wounds will heal over time. Can heal over time.

_"Bye Noah..."_

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it:) feel free to leave your comments.<strong>


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